Six months on Tinder... and how it Changed my Outlook on Dating.
As part of the Honoured team, I've tried many different dating sites in the name of Honoured in order to review it for you lovely lot.
But my joining of Tinder came from slightly different circumstances.
Out with my friends at the pub, I joined Tinder so my friends and I could look through and swipe, almost as if it were a game. At the time I thought nothing of it, but looking back now, this should have been my first warning sign.
So here is an account of how six months of Tinder changed both my perspective of online dating, but also helped me learn a lot about myself.
Firstly, it should be recognised that Tinder is, in many ways, a very successful dating app. As an app, it functions very well and I've never had any problems with how it works and I think perhaps its simplicity is why it is so popular.
The first few days were exhilarating. I began to enjoy the buzz I got from being able to swipe no endlessly through this bottomless collection of men.
I began to feel empowered from every rejection I served out.
As time went on, I also noticed how shallow I was becoming as a person. At first, I would only reject based on their whole profile, but that soon faded to their age, profile picture, if they mentioned the word "adventure", or on really shallow days, their name.
Perhaps the most addictive thing became that with every swipe, Tinder offered the hope that my dream person might be there, if only I keep swiping.
Tinder doesn't speak of the commitment a relationship takes, so much so, that when you do match with someone, it asks if you wish to speak or "keep swiping". This instantly tells me that the grass could still be greener, that better could still be out there before I've even said hi to someone who bothered to swipe right for me.
I've noticed that this option to "keep swiping" is on many sites and, to be honest, I'm yet to work out what could be a better option, but for now, it just doesn't sit well with me.
I'm now making a conscious effort (on all dating sites), that when I match, I talk first.
Here's what it taught me about the culture of Online Dating...
Tinder has a reputation for being an app for "hook-ups". A place to find a one-night stand or a fling... I actually disagree.
Yes, I got some horrendously seedy conversation starters from a few men, but I also had some good conversations, even conversations about church and Jesus.
Not everybody on Tinder is looking for "fun", some are genuine people, trying to navigate their way through this form of dating. But sadly, because of its reputation, it is trickier to be honourable in your swiping.
SO, here's my review of Tinder:
1. You don't have to rule it out. If you're committed to what you're looking for, I see no reason why this pool of people aren't worth considering.
2. You need to protect yourself. By this, I mean be aware not to become the shallow person I became. Watch how often you swipe without looking at the person, keep an open mind.
3. This isn't a "Christian" dating site. Tinder is not specifically for Christians, so the pool of Christians is quite limited and it's often not clear what someone believes. If this is what you want, I'd recommend trying apps like SALT, that have the heart of Jesus at its centre.
I'm personally choosing not to use Tinder anymore. Not only did I dislike the way it portrayed dating, but more importantly, I didn't like who I became.
If you are keen on trying internet dating, find the one that works for you.
But remember, Be an Honourable Swiper.