Part of me died inside as I reluctantly renewed my internet dating subscription for the third time in six month after vowing to myself never again. Within 48 hours I remembered why internet dating is not for me.
Firstly my life looks rather complicated from the outside as I’m divorced and I have two small children. Basically I don’t look good on paper. Consequently pretty much anyone I show an interest in never messages me back: major kick in the ego.
Secondly I’m definitely a personality person – I’m usually attracted to the way a person talks and laughs, none of which is communicated via online dating profiles.
Thirdly I am a little inclined to spend too much time online, particularly on my phone. So another app or messaging platform is only sucking up more of my life when I should be living, not refreshing an inbox.
Fourthly, and finally although I could go on and on, internet dating often causes us to dehumanise each other and behave in ways we certainly wouldn’t face to face. I’m as guilty of this as anyone. Message received ‘Love your profile – want to go and get a drink?’ Mmm 5ft 4, looks a bit too conservative evangelical and has four dogs – delete, delete, delete. Not much respect or honour in that!
Since becoming single I’ve been praying about this loathing of internet dating and seeking God’s voice on whether to pursue it. Sometimes I love being single but sometimes I get so frustrated with it. Particularly when all my married friends are busy and I just want to go out and have some fun.
The answer that God gave was a little brain baby which grew rapidly into a fully formed idea child and forced its way out into my world. Why couldn’t there be a way of connecting people that honoured all the people involved and ensured that even if romance didn’t happen, they’d still make friends and have an awesome time; a way that actually encouraged and empowered people rather than discouraging them by showing them how fun it can be to be single; a way to get single people offline, off the sofa and out into the wide world of wonderful things that God has blessed us with. ‘Honoured’ was born.
I felt like God painted a beautiful picture of how single life could be and I hope if you read any of our content or come to any events you’ll find a squad of friendly people, with hearts for Jesus, who are real about the struggles of being single but excited about the possibilities too.
I hope this ministry blesses you whether you love online dating or not. If nothing else you can enjoy the blogs while waiting for your Christian Connection inbox to refresh…